life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
