I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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