i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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