HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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