I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
