im drinking this country out of the recession.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
