don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
