He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
