Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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