kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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