I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
