I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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