Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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