We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
