dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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