We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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