That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
