I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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