Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
