That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
