After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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