but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
