Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
