i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
