I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize