But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
