my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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