So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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