I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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