Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I AM VODKA MAN
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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