I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
