people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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