The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
