...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
