I love black thongs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
