even my farts smell like vagina
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
