I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
