this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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