so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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