so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize