have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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