We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My vagina just clenched in fear
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
