perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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