We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So much Jack, so little girl.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
