why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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