Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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