It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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