their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
there was a trapeze. enough said
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
