sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
