I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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