what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
