How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
