You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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