I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
