He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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