Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
