I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
