You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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