I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
