just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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