Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
